Theological Snapshot

 

There was a time when I felt very solid and confident in my religious beliefs.  I could spout off my convictions without wavering. If someone had a religious question, I had an answer (and I knew it was the right answer).  Not only was I rock solid in my beliefs, I felt it was my God appointed duty to convert others to my belief (and I was pretty good at doing it). However, now, I find that my theological beliefs are evolving.

I’m not exactly sure how or when my convictions started changing, but, I began having questions. I always kept these questions to myself, because, as a church leader, I didn’t feel safe in expressing my doubts for fear of condemnation.   In my belief system, I was taught that you had to accept Christ as your personal savior, or face an eternity in Hell.  I believed in that concept without question.  Deep down, however,  I had a nagging feeling something was amiss.  As a parent, I don’t care what my children did, there was no way I could condemn them to an eternal hell. If I couldn’t do it, how could a loving God do it? I’ve heard it explained that it breaks God’s heart to condemn people, but He gave them every opportunity repent—so it was their own choice. Somehow, that argument felt like bull crap.

One of the key events prompting me to question if my religion was the only True religion happened after listening to an audio recording of the Bhagavad Gita. I was moved to tears as I heard the stories unfolded.  The passages from the Gita were just as spiritual charges as any other spiritual event I had felt in my Christian upbringing.  Moreover, I was taken aback by the numbers of stories in the Bhagavad Gita that sounded very familiar to those in the Bible.  I also found in interesting that the Gita was written hundreds of years before the Bible. For the first time, I decided to give myself permission to question my beliefs. I began to question whether my Truth was the only truth.

I’m still questioning, but here are the key concepts that I am embracing-- right now. I no longer believe in a big, judgmental God out there and that the Kingdom of God is within. I believe that I have thoughts (some higher and some lower) and that it is my responsibility to decide which thoughts will rule my decisions and my life. I do believe there is a higher knowledge and power. But this higher knowledge and power is not anthropomorphic God.  It is a power like electricity or gravity. I believe that Power is limitless and everywhere and that I can access that Power by turning my thoughts toward it.